It feels like very little time went by since the last Tarot Root we did together here. More and more lately I've been feeling like time is speeding up. That feeling is accompanied by a vague "running out of time" feeling that applies to no particular aspect of my life, but abets my general state of anxiety. Perhaps you feel the same.
Anxiety is exactly what the cards are telling us to think about this week. Tonight's lesbian tarot extravaganza ended with Rachel pulling the IX of Swords Reversed. Man, this card is so messed up. Just looking at it makes me feel anxious. This poor character is waking up in the middle of the night to deal with their stress. Are they stressed out because they have nine swords hanging above their bed? Maybe. We used to have a deer skull that we bought in an Austin antique shop hanging over our pillows. It looked super cool, but one night it fell off the wall and hit Rachel in the face. There was blood everywhere and she had a killer black eye for two weeks. The skull is now over our feet. This is all to say that I would not be able to sleep, either, if I had a bunch of swords dangling over my head at night.
But seriously - the number 9 in the tarot is an interesting thing. The odd numbers are active numbers - they are inhales, they are movement and destabilization. Where 1 is taking the first step forward, 2 is finding balance. Then at 5 you move into a deeper part of your journey before you find harmony at 6, then start questioning everything you have worked for at 7. The number 9 represents material completion of your journey - a time to look back at what you have done before reaching transendental completion at 10.
In the 9 of Swords we see a person contemplating where they have come from, and it certainly doesn't look good. This person is dealing with significant anxiety about where they have come and where they are going.
However, this week we are looking at the reverse of the card, which means that whatever energy should be enabling us to face our demons and deal with our anxiety is being blocked. Perhaps we are denying that something in our life is causing us stress and worry. Maybe we want to seem strong, maybe we think we don't deserve to feel the worry, or maybe we are too scared to admit how much the situation is affecting us. This card is encouraging us to open up to our fears and come to terms with it. Look at the roses on the bedspread in the card. The bright flowers are reminding us that there is always hope in the midst of despair.
Worry is part of every journey. We are going to have to face our fears if we want to move forward. As we go through this week, let's be aware of the things in our lives that we are pushing away. Let's make an effort to accept our anxieties in order to work through them.