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  • Writer's pictureLizzie Hessek

Hangover Cure?

So last night Rachel came home kind of bummed due to work stress. It happens, you know? Every so often you are just like, "Work is a bummer." And when that happens, your loving wife might respond, "Can I get you a glass of wine?"

And you break open a nice bottle of Malbec. You drink together because sometimes drinking alone is a slippery slope into the moat of self-doubt that surrounds the fortress of "having a problem", you know what I mean?

Somehow, and no one knows how this comes to pass, but somehow you two look at your one glass of wine and realize you have finished the bottle. You are super enjoying the conversation that pings between the Philadelphia School Reform Commission, the Marxist theory of history, and how femmes have to verbally come out to every new person they meet. You are super enjoying the shortbread cookies that mysteriously wound up on the table and in your mouth. You are super enjoying the whole damn evening.

The next morning you wake up with the suspicion that two people are not supposed to down a bottle of wine on a Tuesday night. The day ahead is not looking good. Especially since you missed your 7AM spin class on Monday and you promised yourselves you would go on Wednesday.

But this is where my story takes a turn for the curious. All my life I have been told to cure a hangover by eating greasy foods, drinking water, lying in bed and using this as an excuse for self-pity, etc. But after 45 minutes of morning spin... we both felt great. We totally sweated out all the alcohol or something. My question is: is exercise a secret hangover cure that no one ever told me about? Why aren't we talking about it? Are we talking about it and I am not listening because I actually hate exercise? Do you know that I never learned how to spell exercise (I always spell it exersize) because I hate it so much?

Additional thoughts: this exercise cure might only work if one is midway between the basically-sober and still-vomiting forms of hangover expression. I imagine that 45 minutes of spin would have been disasterous when this happened:

It's hard to tell, but I was actually very happy in this photo and trying my best to shape my face into a smile. I think I thought it was working. Needless to say, it was a hard morning. It might also not have been possible the morning after this feat of acrobatic mastery:

Nevertheless, I am interested in knowing - have I been in the dark this whole time eating BLTs alone in bed when I should have been getting sweaty? I feel like a whole new world is expanding before me. Perhaps it is expanding for you, too.

#Miscellaneous #Drinking #Fitness #EmbarrassingPhotos #Hangover

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