A Queer Girl's Lifestyle Blog

Your good news is not always someone else’s good news. Don’t let that stop you from sharing your news with people you want to share with, but do let that knowledge influence your method of delivery. Sure, we’d all like to rejoice in other’s successes and delights, but sometimes we just don’t have the goddamn energy to be there 100%. Lately, when someone announces their pregnancy to me, you can be sure that my joyful congratulations are a product of my many years of theatre sc

Our lives are all segmented into multiple, invariable cycles. Monday’s minor depression high tides into Friday’s fleeting joy. The stress of paying bills by the 15th of the month leads straight to payday’s debauchery on the 31st. The colors of the farmer’s market in June fade to dull November stands that force you to get a little more creative with your menu. The universe gifts you a new cycle when you are trying to get pregnant. Yes, most women’s bodies already adhere to cyc

One of the questions that I had going into our medically-assisted babymaking adventure which I could not find on-line was what the actual insemination would be like. I figured it would not be a particularly romantic experience - especially since I do have any sort of white coat fetish. I spent three years of my life in a relationship with a woman in med school, and that pretty much killed any subconscious hot-for-doctor feelings I might have been harboring deep within my id.

Hello! Happy New Year! Welcome back to Queer Martha and, specifically, Buns in the Oven! We're still keeping on keeping on with this whole baby-making party. When Rachel and I initially began our child-creating mission back on New Years Day 2014, we were a little baffled by the lack of pertinent information describing the process. There are loads of sites dedicated to the TTC (Trying to Conceive) community, but I found a lot of it to be more geared toward emotional support fo

My last Buns in the Oven is from May. Perhaps you are wondering what happened. “Didn’t you go on a babymoon, like, six months ago? Didn’t you decide on that sperm from that little donor who the sperm bank staff says looks like an emo lady? What’s the hold up?” I hear you. And I am here to say that everything is ok. We just had a funny detour. As a side note, I am of the opinion that if I’m not pregnant one year after our babymoon then we get to go on another babymoon. A babym

To draw out the baking metaphor much farther than I should – we are still kneading the dough for the buns going in the oven. Maybe that is even too far into the process. We are still preheating the oven. We got a little distracted by buying a house, which I suppose merits its own blog post. We did, however, manage to choose the flour for the buns. Is that too far into the metaphor? Perhaps. In any case, this installment of Buns in the Oven will be exploring choosing a sperm d

FYI – this post talks about “lady issues,” so if you happen to be my dad… maybe don’t read it! Maybe you know that our Japan trip wasn’t just an amazing adventure for me and Rachel. We had been calling it our babymoon – the last hurrah of unfettered spending before all of our money gets funneled into my uterus. Interestingly, we spent a lot less than we thought we would which was a pleasant surprise. But now it’s full steam ahead into reproductive medicine! These are the two

In this series, we will explore Queer Martha's adventures in starting a queer family using love, humor, and artificial insemination. The series's title is super subject to change. This is not our baby - it is my brother's wonderful baby - but don't we look goddamn adorable? It’s strange to call this first steps because I started seeing a fertility doctor back in 2014, before I turned 26. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), and I had no idea what effect that would have

I haven't yet written anything that has earned the "kids" tag, but I do hope to someday (perhaps in a few months), carve out a piece of this blog for queer kid-creation chronicles. There are a few beautiful places on the internet where the path to queer conception and the following nine months are detailed - I was so happy to follow Haley during her pregnancy - but I want there to be more! Without queer role models it is so easy to see having kids as this super heteronormativ