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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 15, 2016
- 3 min
A Christmas Decoration Personality Assessment
I realized as I left my house this morning that my Christmas decorations say a lot about me. Then I thought that Christmas decorations, in general, must be a pretty accurate reflection of the decorator. They represent your tastes - good and bad, your creativity and resourcefulness, your willingness to pay for something fleeting and superfluous, and your spatial reasoning skills. Christmastime gives us so much, including, as of today, the opportunity for a foolproof personalit
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 31, 2015
- 3 min
Tiny, Delicious Homeowners
On the Sunday after Christmas, I decided it was high time to make a gingerbread house. I know what you are thinking. "The Sunday AFTER Christmas?" Yes, the Sunday after Christmas. I know gingerbread houses are primarily used as gaudy holiday decor, but the fact of the matter is that gingerbread houses are delicious all year long. I say that with a lot of certainty, but the truth of the matter is that I never made a gingerbread house before this week. Sure, growing up we made
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 24, 2015
- 2 min
Christmas Eve Reflections on Holiday Cheer
The holidays are not always easy. Even when you love Christmas as freaking much as I do, there are times when the holidays are hard. Holidays bring up a lot of shit - family expectations of you, your expectations of family, financial fears, future fears, nostalgia, and longing. This has been a hard holiday season for a few reasons (including but not limited to the weird weather), and I wanted to reflect on a few things that help me feel the cheer. First, a guy on the street i
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 23, 2015
- 3 min
Foolproof Way to Spread Holiday Cheer: Gambling!
In this post we will also address family-friendly ways to celebrate Christmas together such as gambling and playing with fire. Since I was a wee queer Martha living in Allentown, Pennsylvania, my family's major holiday tradition was to have a big Christmas dinner with our family friends. The weekend before Christmas we always celebrated with our neighborhood family. The blood family we spent Christmas with would change every year, but you could always count on getting togethe
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 22, 2015
- 6 min
Christmas in the Time of Climate Change
If you have read previous posts on Queer Martha, you are most likely very aware of how much I love Christmas. I start to get excited about Christmas around the beginning of July - right when the humidity in Philadelphia suddenly pulls you into a giant, suffocating bear hug that lasts through mid-September. Now, I am a woman of the Northeast. I don't really mind the humidity. As soon as it picks up in the summer, however, it reminds me of how much I long for a blizzard to blow
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 17, 2015
- 6 min
It's True. All of It: Star Wars Party Part 2
Not sure if you have all heard, but there is a new movie that was just released about robots and heros with laser swords that is rumored to be doing well in the box offices. Actually, the movie was released yesterday in France, and Air France had a promomotion going to take advantage of France's one-day lead on the US: buy a New York - Paris direct flight on December 16, Air France throws in a ticket to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens for free! So ingenious, those Frenchers.
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 14, 2015
- 4 min
Chestnuts: You Should Eat Them
I freaking love chestnuts. Chestnuts! Not just something to sing about roasting over an open fire. Not just something to buy off a city street vendor! Not just the names of two body parts made into one word that creates an awkward image when you think about it. Go ahead. Think about it. Chestnuts. Chestnuts are so much more. They are nutty and sweet and hearty and they taste like winter and they are excellent, excellent vehicles for butter. And you know what we always say her
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 11, 2015
- 3 min
The Second Most Important Decision of the Year (it's a wreath)
We all know that the tree is the pièce de résistance of the Christmas decorations, but let us not forget the ever-important second in command: the Christmas Wreath. The wreath is the first thing people see when they come to your home. It represents your Christmas spirit. Really, it represents your very soul. I am particularly fond of wreath buying because it has turned into a special beginning-of-the-season tradition for me. My friends and I head to Bartram's Garden every yea
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 9, 2015
- 4 min
DIY Christmas Banners! For Every Era-themed Dinner Imaginable! (or just two)
Ok, Christmas is totally a time for traditions, yes. I am the biggest tradition stickler out there. Growing up, my brother and I had this ornament on our Christmas Tree that we called Seek Secret. Seek Secret was a little pompom creature (maybe a bear?) that lived inside a plastic canvas yarn box. It looked more or less exactly like this. Seek Secret was the shit. He lived inside his little box all season long, and on Christmas morning we would open the box and let Seek Secre
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 9, 2015
- 3 min
The Great Christmas Cookie Saga
In my wife's family, the weekend after Thanksgiving is dedicated to the much-anticipated Annual Christmas Cookie Baking Extravaganza. It is one of my favorite holiday traditions. I married into it, so you know I'm not just being sentimental. My wife's family takes Christmas cookies very, very seriously. It's one of the reasons I married her. This might sound to you like a fun, informal way to usher in the most wonderful time of the year. If that is what you think, than you ar
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 3, 2015
- 2 min
The Most Important Decision of the Year
I think we all know what I am going to say. The most important decision you make all year is what evergreen you are going to bring home to be your conduit of seasonal joy. Maybe you are like me and you walk onto the farm saying, "I don't want evergreen, I want EVERYGREEN! Let's get ALL the trees!" I did actually tell Rachel this year that it might be a good idea to buy 6 or 7 trees and set them up in our salon so that it feels like you are walking through a heavily wooded are
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Lizzie Hessek
- Nov 18, 2015
- 2 min
Printable & Customizable Advent Calendar
I think we can all agree that there is nothing more special than an advent calendar (we've already been over this.). Advent calendars are the freaking shit. In fact, I think we should have advent calendars to celebrate the coming of all sorts of things. I can't believe I didn't think of that before. That's a fucking brilliant idea. I will have advent calendars to count down the days until President's Day. And Voting Day. And my birthday. You are probably saying, "Lizzie, they
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Lizzie Hessek
- Nov 10, 2015
- 2 min
Cairnwood by Candlelight
I'm still on a Christmas kick. Enjoy all the enthusiasm now before I plunge into my annual post-holiday depression. Speaking of holiday traditions! Rachel and I have a few that are fairly cheesy (Hello, Sounds of the Season with the Philadelphia Orchestra) and pretty much all spearheaded by me (Rachel let's me drag her around all Christmas, and I let her eat mountains of hot dogs guilt free. It's what makes our marriage work.). One of the most beloved of our winter traditions
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Lizzie Hessek
- Nov 9, 2015
- 3 min
Midcentury Christmas Dinner
A couple of years ago Rachel and I decided that we wanted to start having proper dinner parties. Not just parties where you invite all your friends and put out a spread and a punch bowl (though we love those parties, too), but straight up dinner parties with place cards and china and water glasses. A party at which everyone can fit around the dinner table. A dinner with several courses and a ceremonial carving of an animal. We figured there was no better time to host this typ
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Lizzie Hessek
- Nov 3, 2015
- 2 min
Winter is coming with its advent calendars
So, in the winter it is harder than ever to get out of bed. And I am known around our house for being particularly tricky to wake up and get going. You can't be nice to me to get me out of bed. I'll just trick you into laying back down and cuddling with me. Don't be too strict, either, or I will stay in bed just to spite you. There is a happy medium that involves Robyn or Tegan and Sara blasting from the cell phone speaker and you making coffee in the next room and promising
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