Lizzie Hessek
What's New? : a How-To Guide
Does anyone actually, enthusiastically, genuinely enjoy a party? Are there any true, honest-to-goodness extroverts out there who thrive...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Aug 20, 2018
- 8 min
The Catcall Index
One of the pleasures of public space is its gift of anonymity - the privilege to move through it without being singled out; the privilege...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Apr 20, 2018
- 5 min
The Unbearable Ennui of Being
I’m not sure about this, but my friend Ally says that I do well when faced with the crushing and unending ennui of life. Frankly, I don’t...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 6, 2017
- 4 min
Buns in the Oven Part 8: International Thespian Society
Your good news is not always someone else’s good news. Don’t let that stop you from sharing your news with people you want to share with,...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Oct 27, 2017
- 6 min
Treachery and Beauty: Life Lessons from Hiking in Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania rocks. It rocks in the figurative sense of being super great, and it rocks in the sense that there are literal stones,...
154 views0 comments
Lizzie Hessek
- Jun 13, 2017
- 7 min
Buns in the Oven Part 7: Symptoms of the -1st trimester
Our lives are all segmented into multiple, invariable cycles. Monday’s minor depression high tides into Friday’s fleeting joy. The stress...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Mar 12, 2017
- 3 min
Buns in the Oven Part 6: What to Expect When You Are Inseminating
One of the questions that I had going into our medically-assisted babymaking adventure which I could not find on-line was what the actual...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Jan 17, 2017
- 3 min
Buns in the Oven Part 5: Kids are Expensive
Hello! Happy New Year! Welcome back to Queer Martha and, specifically, Buns in the Oven! We're still keeping on keeping on with this...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 21, 2016
- 3 min
Core Contradictions
My super friend Veronica, who was there for me when I had a flat tire on New Year's Day 2016 (Oh, I see what you did there, 2016. That...
157 views0 comments
Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 15, 2016
- 3 min
A Christmas Decoration Personality Assessment
I realized as I left my house this morning that my Christmas decorations say a lot about me. Then I thought that Christmas decorations,...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Nov 15, 2016
- 7 min
Buns in the Oven Part 4: A Funny Detour
My last Buns in the Oven is from May. Perhaps you are wondering what happened. “Didn’t you go on a babymoon, like, six months ago? Didn’t...
173 views0 comments
Lizzie Hessek
- May 26, 2016
- 5 min
We changed our names entirely, and you can too!
Hello friends! When Rachel and I started talking about marriage - which was about 10 minutes into our first date (lesbians, amirite?) -...
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Lizzie Hessek
- May 24, 2016
- 6 min
Lessons Learned from Running Errands like its 1890
When I lived in France I was completely charmed by the ever-present stores that sold one very specific thing or performed one very...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Feb 11, 2016
- 3 min
Personality Tests for People Who Hate Personality Tests
I can't tell you why people are obsessed with personality tests, and I certainly won't pretend to be immune to the fascination. In fact,...
91 views0 comments
Lizzie Hessek
- Feb 6, 2016
- 6 min
Try Something New: Idioms for (almost) Every Occasion
Words are important. You know what is more important? Words that don't mean what they are supposed to mean. That's right, folks, we're...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Jan 30, 2016
- 7 min
A Comprehensive Guide to Winter Coats
You probably know this by now: I love winter. The chilling wind whipping through my body and preventing me from breathing makes me feel...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Jan 5, 2016
- 4 min
Queer Martha's Guide for Auto Emergency Preparedness
2016 is not even a week old and already it has shown up to my party drunk. I said, "Go home, 2016, you are drunk!" 2016 slurred, "I can't...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Jan 1, 2016
- 3 min
Winter Doldrums be Damned
At the end of today, the holidays are pretty much over. I say "pretty much" because technically Christmas lasts until the 6th of January...
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 24, 2015
- 2 min
Christmas Eve Reflections on Holiday Cheer
The holidays are not always easy. Even when you love Christmas as freaking much as I do, there are times when the holidays are hard....
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Lizzie Hessek
- Dec 22, 2015
- 6 min
Christmas in the Time of Climate Change
If you have read previous posts on Queer Martha, you are most likely very aware of how much I love Christmas. I start to get excited...
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