Queer Martha

Queer Martha's Guide for Auto Emergency Preparedness

January 5, 2016

2016 is not even a week old and already it has shown up to my party drunk. I said, "Go home, 2016, you are drunk!" 2016 slurred, "I can't go home, I have a flat tire." This is not a metaphor. Within mere hours of 2016 entering the Eastern Standard Time Zone, your friend Queer Martha was confronted with this:

Do you see that? This is an action shot of the front wheel on my poor, sad Merrylegs the Toyota slowly deflating. Yes, only 14 hours into 2016, I got a flat tire. I haven't had a flat tire since 2010, and I forgot how demoralizing one can be.

Now, there are some things that Queer Martha does not know how to do. One of them is change a tire with any degree of confidence. Luckily for me, I noticed my flat outside the home of my dear friends from high school, Nabil and Tim. Now, we didn't go to the same high school, and apparently their high school taught them life skills like changing a tire, or something, because Nabil immediately said, "Oh, I'll change it for you....

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